To My Loves by Jen Cousineau with Excerpt

4/21/2016

Peyton and Colton grew up not only as brother and sister, but as thick as thieves. After the sudden death of their parents, Colton decides to enroll in the Marines, bringing Peyton along for the ride. While Colton falls for the love of his life, Peyton settles for a man who she has fun with.

But when Colton receives his orders for deployment, he leaves Peyton to take his place next to his newly pregnant wife Julia until he returns.

When double tragedy strikes, Peyton barely manages to hold on to her own life, struggling to make sense of everything happening around her. With her grip slowly slipping, the third tragedy hits when her doctor tells her that it might be time for her to let go.

Will the news from her doctor finally set her free and allow her to truly live? Or will the verdict only cause her to give up completely?

When the doctor utters those three words to you, it’s indescribable. You never expect to hear them. You never think it’ll happen to you. You go through your days living your life, knowing it’s a possibility, but never actually think it’ll happen. When it does, it’s like a car wreck. You don’t see it coming, and you don’t have any time to prevent it.

When you hear those three words, your heart stops—at least mine did. I’ve felt like the world has been against me for so long. Set on repeat to break my heart. When I finally feel like maybe I’ll be okay, it hits me like a sledgehammer to the chest all over again. I thought I’ve endured enough for a while, but apparently, life disagreed. This time, it was like breathing deep only to realize I was submerged under water. I was drowning, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

When the doctor uttered those three words to me, my heart stopped, my breath left my lungs, and I could only hear my blood rushing in my ears. That’s when I realized this was the final act. This was most likely the final hit I wouldn’t be able to get up from.