![]() It Must Be Fate
-- EXCERPT: In that single moment between breaths, in the split second that determines whether or not you take another, time simply stops. There’s a stillness that descends, ensnaring everything around it. There’s no love or loss or…anything at all. Just this vast nothingness that casts a shadow over everything within reach. Then, in the next moment, there’s sound and light and life, and you take the next breath, but everything is suddenly different. The axis has shifted ever so slightly, yet the repercussions are immense. One second, he’s there, looking at me with eyes that aren’t his own but are filled with everything he can’t say. The next, he’s gone. My soul is keening at the loss of its echo, yet at the same time, an all-consuming fire has been lit within me, slowly flooding the hollow space left in Macklin’s wake as I stare through tear-filled eyes at the empty spot he occupied. The juxtaposition of the two warring emotions leaves room for little else. There is only pain. Only anger. Grief. I’m not sure if this is what it looks like for anyone else, but for me, it’s an internal battle between giving up and pushing on. Taking that next breath or letting it be taken. Swiping the back of my hand across my face, I take a deep breath, picking up the pieces of my broken heart and holding myself together as best I can. The edges are jagged, but the pain just serves to further my purpose: getting my sexy nerd back. I love you. The silent words are on repeat in my mind, and I simply refuse to let those be his last. Get it together, Fate. This is no time to fall apart. You survived death and Ass-Cole’s shitty attitude. You can survive this too. Getting to my feet, my eyes are unfocused, my mind a jumbled mess of contradictions. I was chosen as the Guardian of the Spirits because of my ability to remain fair. Balanced. Neutral. That last word has my hands fisting, nails digging into my palms as my jaw clenches and tears continue to pour like rain down my face. Neutrality? Yeah. Fuck that shit. Righteous fury is about as neutral as I can manage at the moment. My head drops back, releasing my anguish, frustration, and complete and utter rage at the top of my lungs. The roar echoes through the silence of Gateway but does little to ease the ache inside. ![]()
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